Parenting As Ministry

Whenever I hear people talk about trying to view parenting as ministry (or even your most important ministry!), I think of things like family/bedtime devotions, and serving--because our babies and toddlers need our help with most things. So, we read the children's Bibles and theology flash cards and pray together and I clean the children and all the things and make the food and carry them and get up in the middle of the night, etc. And I definitely have room to improve with the discipling and serving.

But what good is all that if my interactions with my children throughout the day are not loving? Parenting a toddler has made it exceedingly clear to me how much I struggle with patience and gentleness. I feel like Paul in Romans 7, because I hate the thought of talking down to my kids or yelling or expressing my frustration or annoyance... but I struggle to stop doing what I hate! 

This past weekend I was at a marriage seminar with teaching from Dave Harvey, and the idea that stood out to me the most was: 
How we relate to someone we think has sinned against us reveals how much we truly do or don't grasp the Gospel. 
Relating to my husband is a cake walk compared to my children. He listens, doesn't repeat himself over and over, doesn't whine and complain when we have to get things done, contributes to the work of the home instead of creating more work, eats the food I prepare and says "thank you" for it, etc. etc. He's an adult. 
But the children...... they aren't as easy. 
And as God has humbled me to stop making excuses for my attitude and behavior, I'm now wondering how to change. And Harvey's idea helps--We are to love others as Christ has loved us. Which, of course, I know. But it helps to spell that out in my relationships. 

What does it look like to love my children as Christ loves me, and as we see His love for others in Scripture?

So I pulled out my Scripture journal and intended to start a new section on God's patience, but as I flipped through and read some verses here and there (most of which I had written down as a teenager), the Spirit had me apply them to my relationship with my kids. 

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 

And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds..." Heb. 10:23-24

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, 

forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Eph. 4:32

"warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, 

help the weak, be patient with everyone." 1 Thess. 5:14

It's easy for me to feel compassion for my friends, my siblings, and the people of our church. They're the ones I usually think of when I read verses about love, encouragement, compassion, forgiveness, etc. But it's like forgetting to love your next-door neighbor while enthusiastically loving your "neighbors" on a mission trip--somehow it's often hardest to love those we're closest to. 
But, what they say is true--my primary ministry IS to my family. My husband and children should be getting encouragement, compassion, and patience from me much more than they currently are.

So now it's time to start focusing on what God's patient, compassionate, gentle, merciful love for me in Christ looks like, and what His love for my children looks like, and what it would look like for ME to love them like that.