Musings

Relationship with someone I have never seen with my own eyes, and whose voice I've never audibly heard, but whose presence is everywhere (including within me) can be challenging. Specifically, I have had various times throughout my relationship with Jesus when I've realized He seems more like an idea than a Person. Those realizations usually make sense of my spiritual apathy. As I again try to realign with the reality of Jesus' person, I'm looking back on previous times I have worked through this and sharing some things I wrote during those times. Like most Moody students, one of the best classes I ever took was Images of Christ in the Novel, taught by Dr. Rosalie De Rosset. Below is an edited version of the first paper I wrote for that class, 4 years ago: My image of Christ is blurry. In the last year I’ve become a little flustered with how abstract God is to me. It’s shocking to be raised in an evangelical church that emphasizes relationship with Christ, only

    I have always squirmed when people talk about being "nothing" without Christ, being able to do "nothing" on our own, etc. In our self-esteeming culture, it doesn't easily integrate with our personal philosophies. I've never been the type to beat myself up; I don't really struggle much with feelings of failure. But through reading (again) The Search For Significance (by Robert McGee), I've realized that's because I don't often try the things I would probably fail at. So my confidence is based on my own performance just as much as a discouraged person's lack of confidence is based on their performance.      So how have I been dealing with this? By thinking more about my identity in Christ. It's a concept I had heard references to for years, but didn't really start to grasp it until a Moody professor taught me and my classmates to notice all of the references to Christ in the first few chapters of Ephesians. In looking at thos